What Has The World Come To?

What has the world come to? I mean look at the people, everyones either several sizes to big or too small. The people that care about what they look like have gone too far, because female models make it out that once you’re the size of a sign post, the men will drop dead. Good god, how wrong they can be…

And the others have been surrounded by all this ‘healthy food’ that will kill you once it hits your mouth. And theyre everywhere. And theyre so cheap. Why is it that healthy food costs more than the shit from McDonalds and KFC?!

But that’s not what I want to write about.

I mean everyone knows that guys are great at maths, an girls are great at litracy, right? WRONG!!!!!!!!!!

Todays view on sexism is full of shit. I mean, everyones saying its against the rules to discriminate because of gender, and everyone is equal, but when it coms down to showing you whats really happening, its not equal at all?

How is it that if you go to a wedding, the men all are wearing the exact same thing, and the women have all these dresses, different colours sizes, shapes. But the men are all In black and white.

How is it that women can wear clothes that look exactly like mens clothes and be normal, whereas if a man wears a dress, hell be, well, and idiot?!

How come Girls can be tomboys and be straight, but boys cant be, ahhh, tom…girls… without being gay? How is it that ’guy music’, can be openly liked by gilrs, whereas, when guys listen to ‘girl music’ they are put to shame.

But Im not saying that girls aren’t discriminated either

I mean, why is it so special when a girl plays sport? I mean, it was on the news a little while ago, that some district had made a ‘girl rugby team’!!!! OHHH WOW – NO- the girls wanna play footy, big deal. And who says guys like the ‘poshy’ ones? Man, most of us wanna shoot them…

Now this is one thing a lot of girls have probably asked their parents millions of times. I might not really care about this topic but a lot of people do (guys and girls), why is it that parents are more protective when it comes to girls dating. Like the girl is pressured into not being allowed to date until NEVER (for some reason) and when the girl asks ‘what about him (her brother or someshit) The parents probably thing “nah @#$% him…

Why?

Im guessing its because guys cant get pregnant-but who am I to guess—or care?

But anyways, what do you find unfair?

PS if I got any of the girl points wrong-don’t balme me- I don’t know much about the opposite sex….

What Has The World Come To Prt 2

What has the world come to… Honestly. Justice is shit – if someone breaks into your house and falls on a knife, he can sue you, and win. Emotion has become illegal – Its against the law to become an emo in Russia. But we’ve always had Christmas to cheer us up, with the presents, and the love and Santa. But was it all a lie?! Was Santa some pornographic asshole this whole time?

 

According to the department of (something to do wit children in public) in the USA, Santa might be banned from saying his jolly ho ho ho, because ho, sounds like hoe, which means slut, and this rule might become an Australian one. But honestly, don’t you think you oughta change the name of the garden tool, hoe, in case a 3 year old starts paying it for S*X!

I mean seriously, theyre replacing it with hahaha. Now picture this scenario:

A boy sits on Santa’s lap and is asked what he wants for Christmas. The boy says a train set. Then Santa burst out laughing

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA – sure kid, ill see what I can do HAHAHAHAHAHA

The poor kid will be put down. HES BEING LAUGHED AT!!!!

My god, I mean, any kid old enough to know what a hoe is, probably wont be sitting on Santas lap without the presence of someone younger, an anyone young enough to still believe in Santa wont have any clue what a hoe is other that a sound a fat guy in a red suit is gonna make when you sit on him! An if by chance theres a little kid out there who knows what a hoe is, believes in Santa, and is younger than 7, hes had problems from the start to begin with.

 

But if you have to target Santa for something- youd think the government would target the fact that Santa is overweight! I mean, The USA and Australia are the 2 fattest countries in the world. Both having almost a third of their population overweight. And yet theyd choose to pick on the way the fatman laughs!!!! They don’t seem to have any problem at all with the fact that the man goes all around the world in one night but somehow GAINS weight!!! Someone should leave this man a SALAD!!! NOT MILK AND COOKIES!!!!!!!!!! GO ON A DIET, OR YOULL NEED A NEW SUIT!!!

OR MAYBE EVEN SEVERAL NEW REINDEER!!!!!!!!

I mean the guy shouldve realized he was fat after he noticed he weighed more than THE SACK OF THE ENTIRE WORLDS PRESENTS!!!!

I doubt the man will find any ho ho hos at the rate hes going!!!!

[Inspired and with quotes from Hamish Blake and Andy Lee]

Forgotten lines

There are so many famous lines from movies that people repeat over and over and lets face it, aren’t so good. I mean whats so funny or memorable about – ‘I’ll be back’? Here are some funny lines that not many people know, but are either really good, or really funny.

“You know, Bob, I’ve been thinking about all the times that you’ve manipulated me and toyed with me, and, well, I can’t help but recall that children’s fable about the race between the tortoise and the pain-in-the-ass chief of medicine that everybody hates. You see, Bob, the pain-in-the-ass chief of medicine that everybody hates kept running out in front of the tortoise and taunting him; but right at the end — gosh, I’m sure you remember what happened, Bob — the tortoise bit clean-through the chief of medicine’s calf muscle, dragged him to the ground, where he and all the other turtles devoured him alive, right there on the racetrack. It’s a…disturbing children’s book, Bob, I know, but it’s one that stuck with me, nonetheless” ~ Dr Cox, Scrubs

The night is darkest just before before the dawn, and I promise you, the dawn is coming ~ The Dark Knight

Does it look like i have a plan? Im just a dog chasing cars – i wouldnt know what to do if a caught one! ~ the Joker, Dark Knight

Heroes-they either die heroes, or they live long enough to see themselves turned into a villain ~ Harvey Dent, The Dark Knigh

t

Its not about what right! Its about whats FAIR ~ 2face – The Dark Knight

[Mobster] Oh the things this city used to believe in….

What to you believe in, huh?

WHAT DO YOU BELIVE IN

[Joker] I believe, that what doesnt kill you, simply makes you…stranger

(Laughs) You have NOTHING, nothing to threaten me with – nothing to do, with all your strength… ~ the Joker, The Dark Knight

If your good at something never do it for free ~ The Joker, The Dark Knight

“In case you were wondering, it says, “If you can read this, you’re standing too close.” ~ Dr Cox, Scrubs

[ Dr Cox ] Why isnt this working?!

[Leverne] You know the drill. If it barely works, it wont get replaced

[Dr Cox] that explains why your ass is still on the payroll. Ohhh somebody stop me!!!

“Oh my God, I could fly to China, adopt a child, raise her and send her to medical school, and then train her to do this procedure in the time it’s taking you to finish.” ~ Dr Cox, Scrubs

You cant kill me – Im already dead ~ Dracula, Van Helsing

Life, will find a way ~ Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park

You were so intent on finding out whether or not you could you didn’t stop to think whether or not you should! ~ Ian Malcolm,

Jurassic Park

“The scientific power you have, you stood on the shoulders of others and took the next step. you didnt require any disepline to attain it and therfore dont take responisbilty. I karate master must train years to aquire his skill, and is responsible for how he uses it. A killer even must go though ordeals to achieve his goals, and takes responsiblity. You however…” ~ Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park

Genetic power is the most awesome force the planet’s ever witnessed, yet you wield it like a kid that’s found his dad’s gun. ~ Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park

Man-He Should sue you!

Hancock-And you should sue McDonalds cos the clearly @#$%ed you up

Thank you, you’ve taught me to kill again, you’ve given me a reason to live ~ Hot Shots II

[Dexter] I run from no man….

[Topper] But you have to!

[Dexter] No no, i cant walk… They’ve tied my shoelaces together…

[Topper] A Knot! … The bastards! Hot Shots II

Now I will kill you untill you die of it! ~ Hot Shots II

Looks like the upper hand, is on the other foot! ~ Hot Shots II

Im not saying i trust you, and im not saying i dont, but i dont ~ Hot Shots II

You two have each other, enjoy that. Don’t worry about me ill have my memories-though you cant throw a Frisbee to memories, can you ~ ‘My Family’

[sneezes] … Sorry, I’m allergic to bullshit. ~ IRobot

And if we could only step aside and trust in nature, life will find a way. ~ John Hammond, Lost World

Santa: [Swears at boy for several minutes]

Boy: [pauses]Want me to fix you up some sandwiches?

Santa: Yeah, you do that ~ Bad Santa

Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away. ~ Hitch

Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away. ~ Hitch

Any guy can sweep any girl off her feet, he just needs the right broom. ~ Hitch

begin each day as if it were on purpose. ~ Hitch

Albert is holding a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts]
Hitch: What you got there?
Albert: This? I figured maybe if my heart stops beating, it wouldn’t hurt so much.

There is more to life than to watch other people live it. ~ Hitch

I’m gonna go ahead and do this just as slowly as possible so you don’t misunderstand:

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooo. ~ Dr Cox, Scrubs

Oh, yeah, I was actually just planning on doing that…never. ~ Dr Cox, Scrubs

And this is a fact — you are what you eat, and you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn’cha! ~ Dr Cox, Scrubs

Yeah, I make it a point to never enter a shrink’s office unless I’m planning on grossly overpaying somebody for telling me something that I already know. ~ Dr Cox, Scrubs

I swear to God, if one more annoying thing comes my way, please just go ahead and extract some of that extra air out of your head and inject it right into my veins! ~ Dr Cox, Scrubs

Turk: you are not as cool as you think you are

Dr Cox: And you are?

Turk: I’m black, God knew my people would go through struggles so he gave us a lifetime of cool to compensate. Just like he knew white people would be rhythmically challenged and he gave you all this dance… (Dances awkwardly)
Dr. Cox: You’re black? ‘Cause last I checked you had a nerdy white best friend, you enjoy Neil Diamond, and you damn sure act like a black guy and these are all characteristics of white guys. Please understand, I’m a huge supporter of the NAACP. If you’re don’t know what that stands for, it’s the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. And quite frankly, I always thought they should change the ‘colored people’ to ‘African Americans’ but then of course it wouldn’t be the NAACP it’d be the N quad A or NAAAA. And I know this probably sounds like a digression but actually brings me back to my original point…do I think you’re black? Naaaaaaaaa!

[Max] my teacher says that real beauty is on the inside…

[Fletcher] thats just something ugly people say…. Liar Liar

Just beacuse you bought it doesnt make it true… Fletcher, Liar Liar

[fat guy] Hey man, whats up?

[Fletcher] YOUR CHOLESTEROL FATTY!!!! Liar Liar

[Man] Fletcher! Hows it hangin’?

[Fletcher] Small, shriveled, and always to the left… Liar Liar

Nice Job – Turns out your mind is just as sharp as your nose!!! ~ Dr Cox

Dont put sugar on bull and call it candy ~ Michael Weston, Burn Notice

Spend a few years as a covert operative and a sunny beach just looks like a vulnerable tactical position with no decent cover… I’ve never found a good way to hide a gun in a bathing suit. ~ Michael Weston, Burn Notice

When you’re being watched, what you need is contrast. A background that will make the surveillance stand out. An FBI field office is full of guys in their forties. At most South Beach business hotels, it would be tough to tell which middle-aged white guy was watching you. So you stay in the place where everyone is a Jell-O shot away from alcohol poisoning. If you see someone who can walk a straight line, that’s the Fed. ~ Micheal Weston, Burn Notice

It doesn’t matter how much training you have; a broken rib is a broken rib. ~ Michael Weston

[Points at man] Does that shirt come in men’s? ~ Michael Weston

I’ll Know if you move, because, I, have the EARS, of a SNAKE!!! ~ Jingle all the way

[Dentist]Nice meeting you Mr …uh…Bedwetter

[taxi driver] (angrily) Its bedwèttèr!!!

I love being Hairy. To save water, intsead of having a shower, i just vacuum myself ~ Ryan Shelton

I love the little pictures on toilet paper. I hope the artist dosnt take it too seriously when i wipe my shithole with it. ~

Peter Helliar

I love diet pills. On day your fat, the next day your fat with no money. ~ Dave Hughs

I love how men are haveing babies now. Whats next? Women having jobs? ~Dave Hughs

I love Brittney Spears. Sure she cant sing, dance or even drive, but she can stand on her hind legs, and thats, pretty

awesome! ~Carrie Bidmore

I love thinking about my first kiss – its gonna be so awesome! ~Ryan Shelton

[Ben] Dont you think Roger could be gay?

(Roger walks in through kitchen)[Roger] Hi!! I hope you guys dont mind me coming in through the back?

[Ben] Im not saying anything… ~MyFamily

Sometimes, it shouldnt, but it does. Sometimes Goliath kicks the shit out of David, it just that no-one tells that story… ~ Mr Futch

Romeo: I had a dream last night

Mercutio: As did I

Romeo: What was yours?

Mertutio: That dreamers often lie Romeo + Juliet

If love be rough with you, be rough with love. ~ Mercutio Romeo + Juliet

It seems we’ve reached an age where life stops giving us things, and starts taking them away… ~Indiana Jones IV

(Guy walks in wearing shirt that says ‘FBI’)

Father: Do you wear have a shirt that says UNDERCOVER as well?

[Marshal] He’s handsome and jerk just enough so you think you can change him ~ How i met ur mother

And remember: Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall – nobody really had a clue what he was doing up there in the first

place… ~ Pestachio, The Master of Disguise

[UPDATING TOTAL] 63 quotes

Last updated on the [02/4/09]