Dumb people, victems to countless jokes and pranks. They say dumb things, they do dumb things, and we help them along the way. Im not calling myself a genius (so many people would kill me if i did) but there are some -not very quick people- I like to ‘help‘ get through school.
Sometimes, people dont need help, to do something stupid, and my friend, now nicknamed the 5-step disaster, knows this quite well. In visual art, we are painting our landscapes, a normal, dull lesson, until this guy, gets up for more paint. First, he walks too close to the table, and gets white paint smeared all over his BLACK jumper and grey pants. He doesnt notice. He picks up a bottle of red paint, and then sees his pants. He bends down to look at the damage and sticks his head in blue paint in the process. He jolts up and squeezes the bottle in anger or suprise (i dont know, ask him) and squirts red paint all over the white shirt of the girl behind him. As he turns around to apologize, he almost knocks down the table with the paints. Almost. Damn…
Some people just dont realize their doing something dumb until its pointed out to them. On my bus, these two girls were pretty much screaming their conversation, and me and my friends, werent further than 2 meters away. One of them asks a really dumb question and me overhearing, couldnt help but point out the obvious answer. She stares at me and says i shouldnt listen to others peoples conversations, and i say that i wouldnt have heard your dumb question if you werent so damn LOUD! She practically whispers ‘im not loud…’ I stare at her and sarcastically ask, ‘what?’ Louder, she says ‘Im not Loud!’ Again, i shrug. She yells, IM NOT LOUD! I turn to my friend, “did you hear that” i ask. She gets up and screams in my ear – “IM NOT LOUD” and an older student from the other side of the bus gets up and yells, ‘SHUTTUP YOU LOUD B***H!!! She got the point and sat down.
Another time, in class, we were put into groups of 5 to complete a set task. Halfway through, a member of my group insists on adding something thats kinda unneccasary, and its (not gonna lie here) really girly for a group that has of 3 boys. I disagree, she persists. I still disagree. She persists again, and right around now the words from ‘Wipeout’ were going through my mind: If you fail the first time…just do the exact same thing again. Then she ask for a vote. I agreed, figured id get it over and done with. She told the group and they voted 2/3. 2 for, 3 against. She lost. But some people just dont take no for an answer. She accused the other 2 of ‘taking sides’. At this point, no one can help but point out the reason for taking votes, is to in fact, take sides. After a momentary silence, she says theyre not ‘taking sides’, theyre taking sides. I show my confusion and laugh. She calls over the teacher, and tells her that were taking sides against her and being sexist. I tell the teacher that we voted, hence her taking sides acusation, and the teacher laughs. She says to vote again, and then apologetically to the girl – majority rules.
If you look at my other post, WE HATE THE PEOPLE, Youll find some more stupid people.
But, its even funnier when dumb people succeed. The 5 step disaster guy can tell u that. Once, the teacher leaves the room, and everyone ends up talking. But then she comes back, and everyone shuts up up except for that guy. All you can hear is him, saying, ‘…then he bowled it really fast, but i smashed it and hit a six-oh-sorry miss- im just talking about sceince stuff.’ And by some miracle the teacher says, ‘Ok, good work, but try not to be so loud.’ And she wasnt kidding! She ACTUALLY bough it!!!! But its not as bad as the time someone yelled out ‘Pedophile!!’ and passed it off as paper file. But the #1 -give a dumb excuse and get away with it- has to be the time a guy acussed someone of masturbating and the teacher heard. He then said that he did nothing worng and had simply said: Man, I ate. The teacher did not exactly buy it, but had no proof against it, so he let him go.
But its not only dumb people who have dumb moments, a not so dumb guy made a mistake, which was well, graphic, in its way… He is chosen to act out a movie in sharades. He gets STAR WARS. He really cant be bothered to put much effort, so he makes 2 fists, places them ontop of each other down low infront of himself, and mimes unsheathing a sword. Then some wrong minded guy in te back of the class bursts out laughing. The rest of the class and the teacher, well, caught the drift and laughed as well. After recovering, the teacher says, you wanna try that again? But try not to be so graphic guys…
But when people screw up speech, it is hilarious to the people listening. For example, my friend brings a hungry jacks burger for lunch-which was right after we had a talk about globalisation (about companies like mcdonalds) and my other friend come up and says, “hey, how come you get hungry macks – i mean happy jacks – i mean -wait… HUNGRY JACKS! Hey shuttup, im thinking mcdonalds/Hungry jacks and happy meals all at the same time!” But we were to busy laughing to listen…
But dumb people arent completely useless. They can be manipulated in times of need. Like once, im doing a test, when the guy next to me starts copying me. I tell to pee off, but he just stares at me balnkly, and says im not (which of you think about it, just saying that gives it away, cos i sed piss off, not stop copying) I repeat, but he just stubbornly insists he wasnt doing anything. The guy behind me backs me up and says he saw him, untill the teacher calls us all up for talking. Now i know that the guy is impulsive. So i tell the teacher what happened, but said that he copied my whole sheet, and wouldnt stop after several polite requests to stop (exageration) to which the guys yells out ‘WHAT THE F@# – i mean – heck…’ The teacher forgets about the whole talking problem, tells us to sit back down, and tells the guy off for swearing.
I know it was cruel, but i didnt FORCE him to swear. He did that all on his own. Plus, i told nothing but the truth, all i did was put my self in better light, even though the first thing i said to him was – Piss off.
Lastly im gonna add MY dumb moments. Everyone screws up their speech, or says something wrong, but this time, there was the WORST possible timing, which, well has hilarious results.
My friend had this habbit of taking photos of people when they werent expecting it and usually got funny resluts. Once, im talking, and see him in the corner of my eye. I turn and say ‘Piss off man’ just as he snaps the photo. He looks at the image and pisses himself laughing. I look confused. Had he still succeeded in snapping up a funny face? i ask to look and he says only if i dont delete it. i agree. Turns out, he got the photo just as i said the ‘O’ of ‘off’ and i blinked at that exact second. Now i have some stoner face in mid yawn with my eyes closed. But i laughed too. Anyone lucky enough to snap a photo at perfect timing lik that – deserves to keep it. Ill add it here if i can.
But anyways, have you, or anyone you know had a dumb moment?
[Last updated on: 18/01/09]
