Dumb Moments

Dumb people, victems to countless jokes and pranks. They say dumb things, they do dumb things, and we help them along the way. Im not calling myself a genius (so many people would kill me if i did) but there are some -not very quick people- I like to ‘help‘ get through school.

Sometimes, people dont need help, to do something stupid, and my friend, now nicknamed the 5-step disaster, knows this quite well. In visual art, we are painting our landscapes, a normal, dull lesson, until this guy, gets up for more paint. First, he walks too close to the table, and gets white paint smeared all over his BLACK jumper and grey pants. He doesnt notice. He picks up a bottle of red paint, and then sees his pants. He bends down to look at the damage and sticks his head in blue paint in the process. He jolts up and squeezes the bottle in anger or suprise (i dont know, ask him) and squirts red paint all over the white shirt of the girl behind him. As he turns around to apologize, he almost knocks down the table with the paints. Almost. Damn…

Some people just dont realize their doing something dumb until its pointed out to them. On my bus, these two girls were pretty much screaming their conversation, and me and my friends, werent further than 2 meters away. One of them asks a really dumb question and me overhearing, couldnt help but point out the obvious answer. She stares at me and says i shouldnt listen to others peoples conversations, and i say that i wouldnt have heard your dumb question if you werent so damn LOUD! She practically whispers ‘im not loud…’ I stare at her and sarcastically ask, ‘what?’ Louder, she says ‘Im not Loud!’ Again, i shrug. She yells, IM NOT LOUD! I turn to my friend, “did you hear that” i ask. She gets up and screams in my ear – “IM NOT LOUD” and an older student from the other side of the bus gets up and yells, ‘SHUTTUP YOU LOUD B***H!!! She got the point and sat down.

Another time, in class, we were put into groups of 5 to complete a set task. Halfway through,  a member of my group insists on adding something thats kinda unneccasary, and its (not gonna lie here) really girly for a group that has of 3 boys. I disagree, she persists. I still disagree. She persists again, and right around now the words from ‘Wipeout’ were going through my mind: If you fail the first time…just do the exact same thing again. Then she ask for a vote. I agreed, figured id get it over and done with. She told the group and they voted 2/3.   2 for, 3 against. She lost. But some people just dont take no for an answer. She accused the other 2 of ‘taking sides’. At this point, no one can help but point out the reason for taking votes, is to in fact, take sides. After a momentary silence, she says theyre not ‘taking sides’, theyre taking sides. I show my confusion and laugh. She calls over the teacher, and tells her that were taking sides against her and being sexist. I tell the teacher that we voted, hence her taking sides acusation, and the teacher laughs. She says to vote again, and then apologetically to the girl – majority rules.

If you look at my other post, WE HATE THE PEOPLE, Youll find some more stupid people.

But, its even funnier when dumb people succeed. The 5 step disaster guy can tell u that. Once, the teacher leaves the room, and everyone ends up talking. But then she comes back, and everyone shuts up up except for that guy. All you can hear is him, saying, ‘…then he bowled it really fast, but i smashed it and hit a six-oh-sorry miss- im just talking about sceince stuff.’ And by some miracle the teacher says, ‘Ok, good work, but try not to be so loud.’ And she wasnt kidding! She ACTUALLY bough it!!!! But its not as bad as the time someone yelled out ‘Pedophile!!’ and passed it off as paper file. But the #1 -give a dumb excuse and get away with it- has to be the time a guy acussed someone of masturbating and the teacher heard. He then said that he did nothing worng and had simply said: Man, I ate. The teacher did not exactly buy it, but had no proof against it, so he let him go.

But its not only dumb people who have dumb moments, a not so dumb guy made a mistake, which was well, graphic, in its way… He is chosen to act out a movie in sharades. He gets STAR WARS. He really cant be bothered to put much effort, so he makes 2 fists, places them ontop of each other down low infront of himself, and mimes unsheathing a sword. Then some wrong minded guy in te back of the class bursts out laughing. The rest of the class and the teacher, well, caught the drift and laughed as well. After recovering, the teacher says, you wanna try that again? But try not to be so graphic guys…

But when people screw up speech, it is hilarious to the people listening. For example, my friend brings a hungry jacks burger for lunch-which was right after we had a talk about globalisation (about companies like mcdonalds) and my other friend come up and says, “hey, how come you get hungry macks – i mean happy jacks – i mean -wait… HUNGRY JACKS! Hey shuttup, im thinking mcdonalds/Hungry jacks and happy meals all at the same time!” But we were to busy laughing to listen…

But dumb people arent completely useless. They can be manipulated in times of need. Like once, im doing a test, when the guy next to me starts copying me. I tell to pee off, but he just stares at me balnkly, and says im not (which of you think about it, just saying that gives it away, cos i sed piss off, not stop copying) I repeat, but he just stubbornly insists he wasnt doing anything. The guy behind me backs me up and says he saw him, untill the teacher calls us all up for talking. Now i know that the guy is impulsive. So i tell the teacher what happened, but said that he copied my whole sheet, and wouldnt stop after several polite requests to stop (exageration) to which the guys yells out ‘WHAT THE F@# – i mean – heck…’ The teacher forgets about the whole talking problem, tells us to sit back down, and tells the guy off for swearing.
I know it was cruel, but i didnt FORCE him to swear. He did that all on his own. Plus, i told nothing but the truth, all i did was put my self in better light, even though the first thing i said to him was – Piss off.

Lastly im gonna add MY dumb moments. Everyone screws up their speech, or says something wrong, but this time, there was the WORST possible timing, which, well has hilarious results.
My friend had this habbit of taking photos of people when they werent expecting it and usually got funny resluts. Once, im talking, and see him in the corner of my eye. I turn and say ‘Piss off man’ just as he snaps the photo. He looks at the image and pisses himself laughing. I look confused. Had he still succeeded in snapping up a funny face? i ask to look and he says only if i dont delete it. i agree. Turns out, he got the photo just as i said the ‘O’ of ‘off’ and i blinked at that exact second. Now i have some stoner face in mid yawn with my eyes closed. But i laughed too. Anyone lucky enough to snap a photo at perfect timing lik that – deserves to keep it. Ill add it here if i can.

 

But anyways, have you, or anyone you know had a dumb moment?

[Last updated on: 18/01/09]

Highschool Celebrities

Everyone knows the latest gossip about the celebs in Hollywood. Its in magazines and TV, about the completely normal things they do, and they get millons out of this. They make millions out of nothing!!! But of course, we’d never do things like that, would we?

If you said no you wouldnt, your probably lying.

We may not make millions but we do however gossip over nothing. If you think about it (sorry if you you go to a single sex school, cos then u probably cant relate) but if you think about your highschool, then your probably doing this almost everyday. Cos if your school is anything like mine, (and i know for a fact, some of them are) then the majority of your grade will be gossiping about the couples and ‘who likes who’ and shit like that. Everyone makes so big a deal about if you ‘like’ someone that now its pretty much an impossible task to keep a secret related to the topic. Once you tell someone, everyone knows. And then now that the person you like is eventually gonna find out, you figure you might as well ask them out, so if your brave (*or stupid) you do that. Everyone will find this interesting so you might as well hurry up before the crowd gets too big (assuming you didnt take the less brave less stupid less ‘romatntic’ way out and ask over msn). Whether you did or not dosnt matter, cos everyone will somehow know the answer soon enough. If they say yes, then youll probably end up doing, well, NOTHING, and break up after one or two weeks. I know that at my school, this has happened so many times, and not many lasted more than a month.(one or two actually lasted a little while. One or two out of maybe friggen fifty!!!) And say you were lucky an they said ‘no,’ then everyone will make a big deal, and for the next few MONTHS, people will say ‘oh, sorry it didnt work out’ or ‘hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, suck that ugly’ but you get the point, they wont let you forget it. In my school, once, the rejected was so sad, she litrally cried all night, whilst eating ice cream. Watching too many movies my friend… But to me, highschool (at least before year 10, or 9 even, when realitionships start to get serious) looks kinda like a mini hollywood, or a live action celebrity magazine.

Or of your not convinced its like mini hollywood, try TV dramas. I cant exactly put examples without being sued, but think about it. You know it works.

What Has The World Come To?

What has the world come to? I mean look at the people, everyones either several sizes to big or too small. The people that care about what they look like have gone too far, because female models make it out that once you’re the size of a sign post, the men will drop dead. Good god, how wrong they can be…

And the others have been surrounded by all this ‘healthy food’ that will kill you once it hits your mouth. And theyre everywhere. And theyre so cheap. Why is it that healthy food costs more than the shit from McDonalds and KFC?!

But that’s not what I want to write about.

I mean everyone knows that guys are great at maths, an girls are great at litracy, right? WRONG!!!!!!!!!!

Todays view on sexism is full of shit. I mean, everyones saying its against the rules to discriminate because of gender, and everyone is equal, but when it coms down to showing you whats really happening, its not equal at all?

How is it that if you go to a wedding, the men all are wearing the exact same thing, and the women have all these dresses, different colours sizes, shapes. But the men are all In black and white.

How is it that women can wear clothes that look exactly like mens clothes and be normal, whereas if a man wears a dress, hell be, well, and idiot?!

How come Girls can be tomboys and be straight, but boys cant be, ahhh, tom…girls… without being gay? How is it that ’guy music’, can be openly liked by gilrs, whereas, when guys listen to ‘girl music’ they are put to shame.

But Im not saying that girls aren’t discriminated either

I mean, why is it so special when a girl plays sport? I mean, it was on the news a little while ago, that some district had made a ‘girl rugby team’!!!! OHHH WOW – NO- the girls wanna play footy, big deal. And who says guys like the ‘poshy’ ones? Man, most of us wanna shoot them…

Now this is one thing a lot of girls have probably asked their parents millions of times. I might not really care about this topic but a lot of people do (guys and girls), why is it that parents are more protective when it comes to girls dating. Like the girl is pressured into not being allowed to date until NEVER (for some reason) and when the girl asks ‘what about him (her brother or someshit) The parents probably thing “nah @#$% him…

Why?

Im guessing its because guys cant get pregnant-but who am I to guess—or care?

But anyways, what do you find unfair?

PS if I got any of the girl points wrong-don’t balme me- I don’t know much about the opposite sex….

We Hate The People

We all have things we hate – foods, smells, me…

But sometimes what you really hate is other people. They state the obvious, the state the obviously incorrect, and their just really, really annoying.

I hate it :

when your crying, clearly in pain, and People ask, omg are you alright? NO! IM CRYING IN AGONY COS IM FINE DUMBASS!!!!

When your sad, you’d prefer to be left alone, but these nosey people keep coming and asking what happened. You tell them. Then all they say is: I know how you feel… and they pat u on the back. I fail to see how that helps me… ok they know how I feel people! Its gonna be alright!!! WTF

When people say its always the last place to look. NO KIDDING. I know you’ve heard this before but I cant stress this enough! WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP LOOKING AFTER YOU’VE FOUND SOMETHING!!!

When people choose to go look around the entire house for the remote cos they refuse to go to the TV and press the buttons manually.

When the truth is harder to believe then the lie. Cos people believe what they want to hear. This is a true story: Im eating my sandwich on a bench, right? Then, some guy eating chicken decides to toss, but doesnt want to get caught, so he waits until the teacher turns around. Then he throws the bone as hard as he can, but not high enough, it his my in the eye, and my eyelid starts to bleed. It didn’t hurt, it wasn’t deep, but it was noticeable, very noticeable. Wtf was I gonna tell my parents-some asshole hit me in the face with a CHICKEN BONE-thatll work. As im on the bus home i remember we did basketball that day for PE and I had been hit in the face. So I said that was the cause of the cut. It worked. Cant believe it though…

When people in the cinema, yell out did u see that!! After something cool happened-NO ASSHOLE I PAID TO COME HERE AND LOOK AT THE FLOOR. And speaking of movies, I hate it when people have seen it before and tell everyone what happened. WHY CANT WE SUE THESE PEOPLE!!!

Dumb people. Sorry, but it is extremely offensive when someone your insulting dosent get the joke. Specially when your alone, cos you’re the one who has to explain it and by then its not funny. Its even worse when it’s a very bad joke. Like today some idiot comes up to me and tells me to say fat china quickly. The joke was old and predictable. So I tell him, “ok, say, @#$% OFF” really slowly. And he does it. He sits there saying it over and over and not understanding. So to test it, I tell him that if you say orange, 26 time quickly enough, it sounds like gullible. The poor idiot sat there saying and counting, over and over. Its people like this that kill all funny jokes. Face it, sitting down and explaining it kills the joke all together.

I hate people who string several random swear words together and expect it to be insulting. I mean, im yet to figure out how to @#$% up… let alone find out what a d**k c**t is…

I hate ot when dumb people try to pull a really old overused prank/trick on you. Smell the cheese? But kudos to those dumbasses that screw up a joke that is that stupid. Like we all know the joke “whats the capital of tailand? BANGCOK!! And bam, there goes your fertitlity. But alas, a group of poor idiots in my old school when around asking what the capital of china was. I dont know what wouldve been worse: Getting smashed in the groin by a big guy or getting punched in the face by a giant sized idiot for attempting to tell him what and where Bejing is?

I hate people who go to hungry jacks (which almost always has drinks with free refills) and pay extra for a large drinks. What freaking dumbasses. Just buy a small for less, and refill it again and again. Fags. Whats the matter? DOnt wanna loose weight by getting up and walking a few steps. I mean, nothing against those who order to take away, but some people pay for a large, and sit right next to the @#$%ing refill thing!!!!

I hate it when people try to ‘act natural’ on tape, but they end up looking more fake then ever. though i cant exactly say i hate this, cos it is very fuinny to watch….

Combovers. Its like they think were stupid. WE KNOW YOUR BALD MATE.You have to realize this. A couple strands of hair is doin little (coff nothing)to cover your bald head. Face it- We know, you know -the end

When people are asked, ‘Guess what?’, and the answer they get back is ‘what?’ THATS NOT A GUESS FATASS!!!!!

Theres a lot more things I hate about people, but right now I cant think of any, but, the question is… what do u hate about people?

[Lst Updated on: 19/1/09 ]