What has the world come to… Honestly. Justice is shit – if someone breaks into your house and falls on a knife, he can sue you, and win. Emotion has become illegal – Its against the law to become an emo in Russia. But we’ve always had Christmas to cheer us up, with the presents, and the love and Santa. But was it all a lie?! Was Santa some pornographic asshole this whole time?
According to the department of (something to do wit children in public) in the USA, Santa might be banned from saying his jolly ho ho ho, because ho, sounds like hoe, which means slut, and this rule might become an Australian one. But honestly, don’t you think you oughta change the name of the garden tool, hoe, in case a 3 year old starts paying it for S*X!
I mean seriously, theyre replacing it with hahaha. Now picture this scenario:
A boy sits on Santa’s lap and is asked what he wants for Christmas. The boy says a train set. Then Santa burst out laughing
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA – sure kid, ill see what I can do HAHAHAHAHAHA
The poor kid will be put down. HES BEING LAUGHED AT!!!!
My god, I mean, any kid old enough to know what a hoe is, probably wont be sitting on Santas lap without the presence of someone younger, an anyone young enough to still believe in Santa wont have any clue what a hoe is other that a sound a fat guy in a red suit is gonna make when you sit on him! An if by chance theres a little kid out there who knows what a hoe is, believes in Santa, and is younger than 7, hes had problems from the start to begin with.
But if you have to target Santa for something- youd think the government would target the fact that Santa is overweight! I mean, The USA and Australia are the 2 fattest countries in the world. Both having almost a third of their population overweight. And yet theyd choose to pick on the way the fatman laughs!!!! They don’t seem to have any problem at all with the fact that the man goes all around the world in one night but somehow GAINS weight!!! Someone should leave this man a SALAD!!! NOT MILK AND COOKIES!!!!!!!!!! GO ON A DIET, OR YOULL NEED A NEW SUIT!!!
OR MAYBE EVEN SEVERAL NEW REINDEER!!!!!!!!
I mean the guy shouldve realized he was fat after he noticed he weighed more than THE SACK OF THE ENTIRE WORLDS PRESENTS!!!!
I doubt the man will find any ho ho hos at the rate hes going!!!!
[Inspired and with quotes from Hamish Blake and Andy Lee]
